Potty Mouth...Warning; there is a little potty language in this post.

Side note, I tried to google a picture of a potty for this post, if you have my issues, do NOT ever do this! I will forever have those images in my brain!

I know you think I am referring to a few mildly inappropriate words that I might struggle with, but if you ask my kids I am overcoming this issue... No I am talking about my aversion to public restrooms, and how often my disdain for them comes up in conversation lately, mostly because I am going to NYC in a few weeks... But I have been reassured that there are many clean restrooms to use as we roam the City..

I think it all started with my Grandma Joy.. One of the many useful things she taught me, was how to light a match when ever you,... you know... Anyway, that is something that I have been doing ever since.. So now I don't even like to sit in the bathroom with myself, so it's a match, and IN and OUT as quickly as possible. I have never or will never understand people who spend long periods of time reading or doing crosswords in the potty room.. Go lock yourself in your closet with the cedar chips for solitude, it is a much more pleasant experience.

So I just haven't had the best luck with Potties... A few years ago our family went some good friends to Lake Powell, we stayed on their houseboat and between the 2 Families there were 9 children, it was great, but a little close quarters, so naturally I decided that I would only go PeePee(#1) on this trip, just to be polite to everyone...I could hold out for 4 days, I just wouldn't eat much. Well about night #2, I had to go #2, and Justin and Melyndas's room is near enough to the bathroom that I just couldn't do it. So the next morning I waited until everybody was busy and most of the kids were out playing in the water or on the wave runners. Justin was organizing the ski boat and everybody seemed occupied, so I slid quietly into the Bathroom, by this time my stomach was rolling and I was sick, and freaking out because even though I had brought matches, I was afraid to use them, I thought that with the gasses and such, I might blow up the boat or something, (because that is totally something that I would accidentally do.) So I am praying that I can get through this quickly, when all of the sudden , I hear, from above my head Alyssa say, or rather holler; "WHAT is THAT SMELL?"..I was dead silent, and i started sweating, & praying that she would just go away, she was walking right beside the little window which was open, and said; "DAD WHAT IS THAT SMELL, IT SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING DIED!". then she called to my daughter Stephanie, COME SMELL THIS", holy crap, I was dying, my hair was soaking wet from sweat at this point, I didn't dare flush, or move, or anything...In the mean time Justin told Alyssa to go do something else and he would come over and investigate when he got a minute, he was sure it was just the bathroom and nothing to worry about.. Luckily the girls lost interest and moved on, I was just about flush when someone, another child, on the other side of the door said EWW,I CAN SMELL IT TOO, WHAT IS THAT?...go away go away go away, I am silently begging, when I realize all of the are adults are now back on board & talking... when MY sweet, clueless Husband says; "WHERE IS WENDY?" ok after you have been married several years, aren't you supposed to have a 6th sense with your partner, and just know when they are in trouble??? If our roles had been reversed I immediately would have assumed that Loren was taking a dump, and I would have averted every ones attention away from the flippin Bathroom.. No not Loren, again; "HAS ANYONE SEEN WENDY?" This is when I totally lost it, and said to hell with it, I flushed the toilet, & everybody got quiet, and I yelled Yes it was me and my freakin smell I had to go! Sorry everyone, I am sorry! But I couldn't hold it anymore.. I was humiliated, once again.

This reminds me of another time when I was staying at my friend Vicki's Cabin in Deer Valley Utah, if you can call it a cabin it is a mansion, They are the Moguls of Swift Transportation, and it is beautiful, and yeah I had a potty incident.

Charlee Bug is Graduating..Class of 2010!

Kathy Scoffield did Charlee"s Senior pics. We think they are amazing. Here a a few...

We are so happy with the way they turned out. I highly recommend using Kathy for your Senior, Family, or Wedding Photography. She is great to work with, reasonably priced and most importantly captures the true beauty of her clients.

I just kept running, and running and running.....

I decided to write this story next. Yesterday my Aunt charlotte had me tell it to my cousin Lacie who was down for a visit. My Aunt was there when this took place and she said it was one of her worst days...It happened to be one of my best.

So Charlotte is an amazing and strong woman, my Dad is her Baby brother. She went through Breast cancer some years ago and all of the scary stuff that goes with it , SHE is definitely a survivor, I could write pages of what this woman has survived. Anyway she is quite the advocate and has raised thousands of dollars for breast cancer research, one of the ways she did this was by organizing a"walk-run" for the cure 5k, it happens every October on a Sunday, so she organized this for the day before so those who wanted to participate could, without running on the Sabbath. I was totally psyched to run because I was actually kind of in shape at the time, I had been running about 3 or 4 miles a day. I wanted to show my kids that I COULD actually run. side note; once when I was trying to get in shape after I had given birth to Emmi, I was running and one morning my 3 and 7 year old girls were out on the porch and Charlee started screaming for her Daddy, he came flying out to see what had happened and Charlee simply said we didn't know Mommy could run!!! So this is why I loaded my Family up and we all went down to my Aunts Stake center, Loren would be walking with the kids and pushing a double jogging stroller, and I was just going to try and run the whole way and get a good time. It was pretty chily that early October morning so I felt like I could do the run without water.. When the race started there were a couple of hardcore runners who took off fast, and then some roller bladders just behind them, I said goodbye to my Family and started passing the walkers..That was a cool feeling to be passing so many people. I ended up behind the 2 ladies who were Roller-blading, I wasn't close enough to talk to them but just close enough to keep them in my sight and follow them. O did I mention that I had know idea where we were going except that it was just over 3 miles and we would end up at another church building...it was a beautiful day and I felt I was keeping a good pace thanks to those ladies in front of me, a while later i knew we were pretty close to the finish , but we were winding through a neighborhood and I couldn't see the top of any church Steeples yet, about this time my uncle drove by to check on everybody and I told him I was fine and that I would beat him there..haha, so he drove on. I kept my eye on the Ladies and kept running, when we got to Happy Valley Rd. they made a left and so did I. So here we were on Happy Valley, not the most ideal place to run, but I knew we had to be so close. kept running and running. I knew I had been running over an hour and that I had gone further than 3 miles, but the further I ran, the larger the gap between me and the bladers, so they couldn't hear me calling to them to wait up. You know, with all the traffic whizzing by, I knew I was wrong and that we were lost, but I didn't want to stop, I had no idea where I was , so I kept following them, around this time I really wanted to stop, and walk for a while, and drink would have been nice, my pace had obviously slowed because they were looking tinier. I started to get a little delirious after about 2 hours, because at one point I actually thought I saw a Steeple and that we hadn't missed it at all..haha. Then I started to get paranoid that these ladies in front of me had never been a part of the race and were on some whacked-out cross country roller blading trek, there were a lot of rocks and NO side walk areas. It was crazy that they were on blades....

Back at the Church my aunt and Husband were beside themselves they thought I had for sure been kid-napped and dumped somewhere in the desert. the entire Stake was searching, knocking on doors, looking in ditches, my Aunt went to the fast food places hoping that I was just needing snack and maybe passed out in a public restroom, UH NO! i would Never! ( my public restroom issues). My Aunt said all she kept thinking,the whole time she was crying and searching and praying was that she was going to have to call my Dad and let him know that she had gotten me killed on a 5K. Anyway they also had a prayer circle, and my poor Husband was being questioned by the Police, things like; have you been having any problems in your marriage lately? and Did you and your wife have a fight this morning? Yeah it was pretty intense....

Back to me, Running and cramping and feeling nauseous, but I kept running, I couldn't lose sight of the bladers.At last I could see civilization, there was a gas station ahead but the bladers kept going past the station, I thought maybe they lived over there, they were stopped at a traffic light and were waving to me so i also kept running past the circle K and finally up to them. That's when we decided our best bet would be to go back to the circle K and borrow some money and call someone. One of the ladies had a teenager with a car and knowledge of how to get to the church where we were supposed to be, we all climbed in her little truck, the ladies said that they thought they were going the right way because I was still behind them. uhh. Anyway as we were driving back to where we were supposed to be, I was freaking out that I had actually run that far!!!! RAD! I am AWESOME! My Family was going to be so proud, hahahaha. When we pulled into the church parking lot there were still quite a few people there , some police, and my Family who looked like they had just run 10 miles straight too. My Aunt and children clearly had been bawling, and my husband was relieved that I was safe & that he didn't need a lawyer. The Police asked me a few questions and just walked away shaking their heads. As for the people who didn't know me and had wasted a whole Saturday looking for me, they were more than a little irritated with my cheerful attitude and Pride in my running ability. I thought they would be upset with the roller ladies because they should have known where we were going , THEY were in the Stake for heaven's sake, but they had all assumed that they had already gone home, they didn't even know they were missing too. I ran 10 miles! well maybe 9, well for sure I ran 8 and a half miles that day without stopping! Every muscle in my body locked up after that, I could barely walk for 2 days and i had blister where only seasoned runners get blisters! WOOHOO. I did learn some valuable lessons that day and have used this experience in teaching my children and the Young Women in our Church..So still it was one of my best day's, I did something I would never have thought I could do, It is just a bummer that I brought terror and shame to my Family at the same time. Thankfully everyone thinks it's hysterical now, my Aunt had to move out of her ward after that...Just kidding. But I was never asked to participate again...

Service in Haiti...

Click here to see the Family who Barton is helping at the Orphanage in Haiti. He will be letting us know what we can do as the week progresses.

Barton goes to Haiti...

I got a call this morning from B. wishing me a Happy Birthday, he was on an Airport shuttle headed for Haiti.. He promised me when the quake first happened, that he wouldn't go until he had a place to lay his sleeping bag. I tried to talk him into a helmet, but I guess to take less makes it easier. He has no idea what he is going to walk into. He said he would just work and help wherever he is needed, you know do some Gorilla aid. He continues to inspire. I 'm sure we are all already praying for the people in Haiti, but maybe you could remember Barton in your prayers too. Oh yes he is also a contributor for OPRAH now and he will be blogging about the work....Thanks.

Brooki finally gets her hair cut!

Brooklyn has been wanting to cut "all her hair off" as she put it, for over a year now. She wanted to donate to Locks of Love, like her big sis Emmi did a while ago. I told her when her bangs grew out past chin length then we would cut it...She was so excited, and she looks adorable!

The Airplane Story....

I was pressured into writing this story. I warn you, it is long, but it IS TRUE...And I need to preface this story with a few personality quirks I have...I tend to be a worrier, I am an extremely anxious Flyer, and I am a tad germaphobic, & I can be inappropriate when I feel nervous. Also I was quite overweight at the time,and very uncomfortable about my body image.

My darling cousin Calli was getting married in S.L.C. and I really wanted to go. So my Dad generously gave me a stand-by ticket. I was excited to go, but I was a little apprehensive about the flight. Not just the flight but the whole Airport experience. It was post 9-11, and my "stand-by status" had me so worried about not being able to get on the flight that I had Loren and the kids drop me off 3 hours early. (Mind you, the last time I had flown by myself, there was a nice flight attendant who held my hand and delivered me to my Grandma. ) I hurried to find my gate. When I found it, I went straight to the counter and gave the lady my ticket. She kindly told me that they were still boarding the flight in front of me, and that if I would go and sit down she would help me when it was time... So I sat down in the closest seat to her, and tried to be calm.. I called Loren, I called my Dad, I called Toni, and then I called my girlfriend Char who was going to be picking me up at the airport in Utah...After the waiting area cleared out I went up to the counter again and gave the lady my ticket. I asked her if she thought that they would have room for me on the flight. She said that it was too early to know for sure. She must have seen the terror in my eyes because she quickly backtracked, and said not to worry, that I would probably get on. I then had to ask her one more thing - please tell me ahead of time if they aren't going to have room for me. That's when she just gave me a look. I sat down. A little while later, she called me over and gave me a number, I began thanking her profusely for doing me a solid;). She cut me off, and told me that I should go sit down and she would call my number when it was time to board the plane. Man, some people are so impatient... About this time I noticed an attractive kid. Well, he was in his twenties, he was going to sit down across from me, he was tanned, & had sun-bleached shaggy hair. I could tell that he definitely knew his way around a longboard. Wow. (I am happily married, but I can still appreciate a good surfer). We made eye contact and smiled at each other. I felt a little thrill at the thought that I still had it. Anyway, he sat down and started reading. Oh yeah, that reminded me, I had a book. So I read for the next little while to keep distracted from my thoughts of going down in flames. Dang, I should have brought my scriptures. Finally the lady announced that we were going to be boarding. First, the babies, and then anyone who needed assistance. All I could think was "if they only knew how much assistance I could use..." Then to my delight they called my number next, I jumped out of my seat so quickly, I scared the crap out of the poor woman next to me. I hustled over and gave my stuff to the ticket guy, and started down the loading bridge... Oh some more history you should also know is that since I have been an adult I have mostly flown Southwest, so being on this American Airlines flight was quite different the seats seemed nicer and bigger, and they all had their very own little TV screen! Naturally I chose a seat near the front, by the window. After I had thoroughly checked my seat belt and oxygen mask out, I called Loren and told him how RAD, this plane was, and that I had my own TV! I called Char to let her know that I was going to be on time. And then I said a silent prayer; to give thanks for my awesome seat, and asked that I would please live through the flight.... Again I mentally kicked myself for not bringing my scriptures... As I was digging through my giant bag to get my book to to further distract myself, I noticed that the Surfer had boarded the Plane and was staring at me. I couldn't believe it! I looked to make sure that he wasn't looking at someone more suited for him, but sure enough it was me he was looking at. And in fact, he had even hesitated and got this weird grin on his face. Ok ok ok, what the heck?! I'm looking around and there is nobody but me in the seats around, so plenty to chose from right? But can you believe it! He put his bags above MY head and sat in the seat RIGHT next to me!!!! He could have even put a seat between us to be more subtle, but he didn't. Ok, maybe he didn't see me jump out of my seat and run to the ticket guy. Maybe he has only looked down on me, you know him standing, me sitting, which by the way IS the most flattering view! I am an overweight 32 yr old Mommy of 5, but I know that I still look cute from certain angels, thank you to chunky flip flops, and Maybelline! HOLY MOLY!!! He is sitting right next to me looking all beachy! I immediately start thinking of ways that I can let this guy down if he tries to take it to the next level...I could make lots of hand gestures with my left hand, or I could hurry up and call my husband. He was so close, I think I could smell the Ocean...

The Plane is pretty much filled at this point. I am pretending to read, and I need to pee, but there is NO way that I am moving a muscle. I don't know that I have ever before sucked my tummy and chins in for so long...Our row is full and a BIG irritated man appears, he looks at the guy on the end of our row and says" YOU are in MY seat"...My heart stopped. I looked at surfer boy, and said "you mean there are assigned seats on this flight???" He smiled and said "yep, and YOU are in MINE." I almost passed out. I looked at big angry guy, and said "Do you want my seat? I will find another." He said "Look at me! I can't sit in that seat! I need to be on the end." With that I gathered up my huge bag, and I am not just shaking but my whole body is vibrating. I can't even hold my ticket still long enough to read where I was seated. I thought I am getting kicked off this flippin flight, the plane is full now, because I was in Surfer's freaking seat! Daintily as possible, I scooched across all 3 of them, and into the ilse, I gave the big man my ticket and said nervously"I don't know where I am supposed to sit." He took it, and pointed to the back of the plane and said "You are in the last row...." I PROMISE this is how it went down! I am literally having a panic attack as I read this back to myself, but unfortunately the humiliation does not end here.

So I am moving as quickly as possible down the narrow isle smacking people with my giant bag which I am trying to zip up, when to my HORROR my foot slips through one side of my 5 inch high flip flops, (it had fallen in Melynda's pool the day before and the strap was stretched out a little.) If you have experienced this phenomenon of the flipslip, you know how dangerous it is..I couldn't stop myself. With my momentum & shaking the way I was, I couldn't even catch myself. I had both hands clinging to my open bag/purse and I go down. First to my knees, and then on to my tummy, and most of the contents of my bag fly everywhere!!! Duuude I am on the gross floor of the Airplane! I thought about just chillin' for awhile, but it's dirty down there, and I am pretty sure the whole plane either saw me go down, or at least felt the jolt of the plane as I hit my knees, which by the way were bleeding. I gather my stuff, a few people are handing me things I will not make eye contact, because my eyes are about to overflow. I am saying thanks, and cramming my crap back into my freaking bag. Okay I stand back up expecting some kind smiles, or at least a few giggles, because that had to look hilarious, but nothing. NOTHING! Nobody cracked a smile, or said anything, so I just said as loudly as I could manage,"I'm sorry, I didn't know there was assigned seating!" The only good thing was that I don't remember the flight at all.... This really did happen to me, and if I hadn't gone through it I wouldn't believe it. Except for this kind of thing happens to me a lot. Actually it reminds me of the time I was hiding on a Houseboat... But that is another story.